Ok.. here we go... we are in America.. God is writtenon all of our money, our courts, our police staions... out post offices.. this country was founded on the belief in God, as well as FREEDOM of religion... that doesn't mean if you don't like God, & the sacrifices he's made for you even though he knew you would reject him after everyhting... you can try to take him out of the constitution... are you really that chunthunka? (my new word.. figure it out) I would go to a muslim country, wait a few years, & say.. eh.. I don't like ala.. maybe I should tell everyone else to stop talking about him. I mean.. considering they had a democracy, I wouldn't try to pass a bill stating that no one can speak of him is schools.. they would look at me like I'm crazy & try to get me out of the country ASAP... this is where I worry about our government... the fact that they entertain these requests makes me sick. here's your choices... live with it, or get out!! The problem here is that God isn't a big deal here anymore... look at the history people.. first settlers came here... gave us freedom of religion, with God as the foundation... we flourished, built housing, established a work force, and eventually made this country the most popwerful country in the world... now, there are all these people attacking our rights to worship God, sin is way way up, & our economy, & debt is getting worse & worse... our resources are deminishing, hurricanes are more powerful, more damadging, and more frequent than ever before. let alone the earthquakes, and other natual disasters.. and people wanna know why... *sigh* hmmm... do I really need to answer this question... why are there homeless people? becasue nobody looks out for eachother anymore... yeah, maybe they're drug addicts... ok.. who was there for them whem they started? who helped them get out of the rut they were in? who just turned thier heads when they came begging for food, work, or just plain money... you may think they're gonna buy more drugs.. who are youto judge.. how do you know they're not actually hungry? Don't try to take God out.. we need him now more than ever... at least other contries are faithful to thier god nomatter what happens to them. How powerful is that?

Kali & I are wanting to move to Heber when our lease is up in Dec. It would be better for the baby, The weather is nice, it's a small town... I just like it. It's cheaper to live there too, & crime is pretty low. Around here you got the gheto bird flyin around all the time.. & a couple weeks ago ther was a guy runnin around our neighborhood with an AK-47, so yeah. I mean I carry a gun, but a 9mm aint gonna do much against a guy with an auto ak... I mean come on. yeah.
My band just finally decided on a name & we're gonna be playin at a revival at the end of the month. Our new name is Primafacia. THe actual phrase is Prima Facie (with the little accent thing) & it means self evident truth. but yeah. So anyways.. I'm out.

+Ian+

Bow to your sense

I am so stressed right now. I feel like I'm on the verge of a break down, & I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure what I'm stressed about, but I know a lot of it is money. I just got laid off today, which doesn't help. On top of it I started smoking again, & trying to quit is harder than it was three years ago & I had been smoking for five years... I started sunday, & I'm going crazy right now. I need to talk to my mom about my sisters, & for some reason I'm terrified. I just don't like conflict, & I definately don't like to start it. I feel like a zombie right now. Any little thing that happens that normaly I wouldn't even think twice about, bugs the crap out of me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I do not know what the hell I'm going to do. I should not be this stressed out this early in life over this much crap. & most of it shouldn't even bug me.. or at least I don't think so... I really need this vacation, but I just hope I can ENJOY it.. & leave behind everything here that's happening... but sometimes that's hard to do. you don't know how hard it is for me not to just go find some weed right now. I know I don't want to do that though. there's too much at risk. Maybe if I didn't have a life to jepordise, it wouldn't be a problem... but it's more than just my life now. Man, my head is just racing... I just wish the world would stop cold in its tracks, & let me enjoy my life without worry, without bills, without short paychecks, without cravings & temptations. a life without anxiety. But, as I've said before, this IS life, and I just have to bite the bullet, & live it. why. why can't I live by my own words? It's out of my hands, let it go. Why fret over something that you can't control? I'll tell you why. Becasue I can't control this, my life is out of control. Every paycheck, & then some, is spent before I even see the envelope. Every single day I wonder how we're gonna make it to next week. I'm so sick of feeling like this, & it's getting to be too much to handle. I wish I knew what to do. But this is life.

+Ian+

If this made you depressed, go read someone else's journal.

So I go into work today, & notice a lot of people are missing.. in fact, all of my crew were missing... come to find out, a lot of people were fired. So I have the pleasure of training three people so they can fill in the gaps... Which is kinda hard considering they all had different questions about different things, & I still had all my crap goin on.. It was stupid of them to do that in the first place. I mean, they litterally got rid of the only other person besides me that knows anything about display. What are they gonna do when I leave that place? They're goin belly up fast. I mean, they fired the CEO, which was the brains to the whole place, & most of the people that werent fired eventually quit... so yeah. Work sucks.

On the other hand, my son just started crawling, & he also just got his first TWO teeth in the other day. It's so fun to just sit & watch him crawl after a toy & grab it & start playin with it. It's hard ot believe that he's only 7 months... not even that yet. Half a year ago he was so small, making his little baby noises, & now he's crawling, making loud noises, & laughing, & you can see his little teeth pokin up. It's hard to imagine what he's gonna look like in another 6 months. Anyway, I'm gonna go now. I haven't written this much in a while. Talk to ya L8R

+Ian+
Vote for Pedro

I'm mostly bored right now, but somewhat angry. My job sucks. Not my job particularly, but the people there. THe mexicans run the place. Not that I have anything against mexicans, but if you aint brown, you aint down. I mean, these two especially get on my nerves. I can't even go to the bathroom without these guys breathin down my back. I'm the only one in the place that has to clear it with someone to go to the bathroom after lunch. & Concha took a 45 min lunch break today... if I'm even 30 seconds late I'm gettin my but chewed. I can't stand all the crap man. Today I just wanted to punch someone in the face. I ask for a raise (Because I'm in charge of about three different things, & I take over a few others every now & then) & I got written up. what the hell is that? Angry I am. Other than that I'm cool. I have an easy job. Boreing, but easy. anywho. I'm out.

+Ian+